We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
