Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
