i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I know her cup size but not her name....
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