I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
