so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
