Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
