I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
