Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
where are my eyebrows?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
