awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I cannot find my penis.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
