let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
