She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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