Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
