Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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