Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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