What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
