I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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