u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
