I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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