I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
