Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
