Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
