the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
