Say something about gay babies.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm too high and old for this...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
