My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
