marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
