I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
