Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
