The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
