This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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