My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
