theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
