either way he was missing a nipple.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
