Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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