I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
