she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
