She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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