If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
