seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
