are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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