It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
