Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
