Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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