from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
