Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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