how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
