Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
