Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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