Umm I'm too high to move.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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