SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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