sarcasm needs its own font
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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