U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
