Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
